Monday, May 19, 2008

The Britishness Debate

It's an old gag really, but if it helps to add to the "Britishness debate" that Gordon is so desperate to have then the following should help anyone understand what being British mean.
Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then when travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab. Then when you get home sitting in a Swedish chair to watch American T.V shows on a Japanese television.

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house quicker than an ambulance. Only in Britain do Supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, whilst healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front of the store. Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and a cheap lawn mower in the garage. Only in Britain do we have disabled parking spaces in the car park of a Skating Rink.

13 comments:

Letters From A Tory said...

Presumably our fish and chips are still fried in the UK?

Anonymous said...

Dizzy,

Your line on the pizza delivery & the ambulance is one of the great lines of 2008. Thank you
Mr Leatherhead

Anonymous said...

And only in Britain is education so poor that people "can by cigarettes".

dizzy said...

cut n paste is evil

Anonymous said...

I am not British I am English,so called Britishness by Brown and his clowns is just more spin ,I think Scotland will go it's way and we will go ours.

Henry Crun said...

Dear LFAT, our fish and chips may still be fried here - but the fishing fleet is Spanish and the man in the chippy is Chinese.

jailhouselawyer said...

LOL. I'm glad I am European...

Ed said...

Actually Dizzy, now that you raise the matter of plagiarism, do you think that the British education system can be saved from the relentless downward path it is in? Seems to me that we can save it by one of two ways. Either sack the whole bloody lot of teachers and import hard working teachers from say India or China to instil a sense of work ethic, or import the Swedish Model. I reckon I fancy the Swedish Model. :-)

Ed

Anonymous said...

At the risk of being boring I'll just point out that the pizza is delivered by private enterprise whereas the ambulance is state-owned and state-managed.

So you wouldn't expect any other outcome, really, would you?

Frankie said...

The man in the chippy is British.

Being British is about hard work, tolerance, acceptance, being willing to take a risk, making the most of others' abilities and applauding them for it, down playing your own skills, taking part, enjoying a nice beer, being able to eat drink and buy what you want because we have a strong economy, being proud and being able to laugh at ourselves, not moaning when times are tough, stiff upper lip, common sense, tea, hating Europe, loving the common market, football, cricket, snooker and tea.

It's an old gag, and it misses the point.

PS - as a keen skater, I can tell you that there are plenty of disabled people who ice skate.

dizzy said...

"I can tell you that there are plenty of disabled people who ice skate."

Isn't that called "sledging on ice"?

Anonymous said...

When you get run over by the twat on the bike delivering the pizza, my bet is on the SRV and/or DMA turning up faster than the next ham & pineapple. Since when did a pizza turn up in 8 minutes?

http://www.eastanglianambulance.com/service/accident-emergency/call-connect

silas said...

Being British should be about protesting at the state of this country and the people responsible for getting us here.

Seeing as there's a ban on protesting near Parliament however, I was wondering if anyone on here would care to join me on a sightseeing trip there instead?

No banners, no slogans, no chanting.

A silent walk around Parliament Square taking photos of Parliament and possibly being nostalgic for when it meant something.

June 28th at 1pm.

Not a protest, remember. Just a walk around Parliament Square.