What a relief!

If I was asked this question I would note the number of trees and bushes in the country!

Harry Cohen: To ask the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster how many (a) bowsers and (b) portaloos the public sector has access to for utilising in a national emergency situation; whether there are plans to increase those numbers; and if he will make a statement.

Edward Miliband: The Public sector does not have access to a specific number of bowsers and portaloos but each water company holds a stock of emergency equipment..... Portaloos and other sanitary equipment can be sourced by a variety of means including local authorities and private contractors when necessary.

Best hope an emergency doesn't happen on a weekend when a big music festival is on. The portaloos you might be able to get during that time you probably wouldn't want anyway!