Wednesday, July 18, 2007

The new Home Secretary passes the buck

Funnily enough, you might be surprised to hear that I don't support Identity Cards. Besides my lack of faith in the Government actually being able to manage the technology, there is something disturbingly worrying about having my entire life recorded on a chip and managed by the Government. We get told it's about protecting my identity, but who protects my identity from some incompetent Database administrator that types the wrong thing in a SQL window? You might think I'm paranoid, but believe me it happens. "Datafix" is not an uncommon word in the private sector so I doubt it's a rarity in the public sector - assuming they ever actually make a system go live of course.

Of course there are also practical problems to ID cards. For a start what do you do about the homeless? How exactly do you go about registering Cardboard City? Interestingly, last week, Nick Clegg - who may be leader of the Lib Dems soon if the by-election tomorrow goes badly for his party - asked this exact question to the new Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith. Irrespective of what might have happened between then and now (she may have been fired or worse for all I know given I am not in the country) her answer was intriguing. She said,
"Precise arrangements have yet to be made for identity card applications, including how it will be possible for homeless people to register for a national identity card. However, we intend to draw on the experience of other government departments such as the Department for Work and Pensions and the national health service that already provide services to homeless people."
Alternatively this could be read as "Oooooo that's a good question. I never thought of that.... errr..... don't fret about it, we'll sort it out honest, I speak to more clever people about it like those nice people at the Job Centre."

Yours reading Campbell's Diaries,

Dizzy

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Will children be forced to carry ID cards?

Will Children be fined if they lose their ID cards?

Will Bathers be forced to carry ID cards. Are ID card Chips waterproof?

Will terrorists be required to declare their profession on their ID card?

Will foreigners have to get a UK ID card before they can enter the country?

Will sportsmen and women have to carry an ID card. Are ID card Chips sweat proof?

Will it be an offence to scrape ice off car windows with an ID card. Are ID card chips frost proof?

If I loose my ID card WTF must I do
and will it cost me an arm and a leg to replace it?

How often must ID cards be renewed and at what cost?

If someone with an ID card sets off a Bomb or commits an act of Crime can we Sue HMG for misleading us All about the anti terrorism and crime fighting powers of ID cards?

Will I be able to check and amend the Data on my ID card and the Database?

Will private companies have the right to demand to see my ID card as proof of Identity?

What happens if I pop out, forgetting my ID card and a Plod wants to see it?

If my ID card stops working do I get a replacement free. Do ID card Chips come with a manufacturers warranty?

So many questions, so much Bullshit

Anonymous said...

Will gypsies/romanies/the traveling community be forced to carry ID cards?

Do siamese twins need one each or a joint one?

guido faux said...

DELETE FROM TABLE late_taxpayer WHERE citizen_id IN (SELECT citizen_id FROM big_brother WHERE id_card_serial is NULL);

What are you so worried about??

AntiCitizenOne said...

DROP TABLE IncomeTax;

. said...

No doubt Brown will wave his wand and find homes for all the homeless. As well as all the other people he's promised to house.

Croydonian said...

Had a text from Dizz saying 'I nearly fell into the pool when I read [Guido Faux's comment].

Christopher Glamorgan said...

...and don't even begin to mention bilingual ID cards - Bl**dy nightmare in the making! Let's all get ourselves microchipped instead, when we have the technology - waterproof for Dizzy.

Man in a Shed said...

Identity cards - would this be the same government that has faults in over 13 million tax records right now and can't even issue unique National Insurance numbers ?

What worries me is that some people have good reasons to disappear - running away from their community over an arranged marriage or try to avoid 'honour' retribution. This system will allow them to be found and dealt with in short order.

Chris Paul said...

Never mind that Dizzy/Croydonian. There is a by-election going to rack and ruin just down the road. Is Grant Schweppes up to his tricks again. Police should start by investigating this rather than teller-gate. In short Lit supporting Sikh hotheads (or impersonators) have proclaimed one of the candidates dead by suicide to drive votes for Lit and/or suggest the by-election will be cancelled.

Croydonian said...

Chris - don't shoot the piano player, he's doing his best.