Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Big Brother 2007 Post

Like last year a live post as the contestant for the ritual humiliation on Channel4 begins, so here goes.

21:20 - Amanda and Sam, identical twins who I have instantly decided I want to die. They'll probably grow on me. Trouble telling the difference? One of them has a tattoo on the small of her back.
21:24 - Lesley, in her 60, ex-headhunter. Basically a headmistress. Dare I say it, she's a Tory. It's just a hunch like. She's apparently friends of Charles and Camilla. It's a bit like George and his
21:30 - Charley, a self-described "South-East London It girl", lap dancer, cousin of a footballer who looks a bit like a hooker (Divine Browne?)
21:40 - Tracy. Pillhead, cleaner, raver. Probably a member of Reclaim The Streets. Definitely a candidate for withdrawal symptoms.
21:45 - Chanele. Wants to be "famous and rich" or a "speech therapist in Spain". Based her look on Victoria Beckham. Talks like she's done a gram of speed. Lovely on the eyes.
21:47 - Shab, wears far too much make-up and is quite arrogant. Not as much as me though.
21:50 - Emily. What is there to say? She's a girl, another one (looks like the rumours were true). She thinks that there is a new type of music taking over in the UK called "indy". Ahh the young, it's so quaint. She's also a Tory, so I guess that's a saving grace.
22:00 - A welsh bird called Laura who's desire in life is to be an embalmer. Yes really. She wants to embalm the dead as an ideal job. She said she's a really good cock. No wait, that was cook but she's welsh so speaks funny like.
Note: definitely no geezers it seems.
22:10: Nicky. Heeeeello. Born in India and adopted from Mother Theresa's nursery as a child. Hates men at the moment and cannot tolerate them. Handy! Funny, last year, Nikki was the name of the gorgeous one too.
22:12: Carol. Oh my God. Crazy loony lefty 53 year anti-war campaigner. Bet she's a member of Respect. She's a "sexual health worker". Davina has just confirmed she is a member of Respect. So that makes her a fan of sexist, misogynist, racist, homophobe Islamists. Nice!

It appears that the rumours are true. So we just have woman until Friday when a single man will be put in the house. One man, in a house with ten woman who have cycles in union? Jesus wept.


Caroline Hunt said...

Lovely on the eyes.

Dirty old man. She's 19!

Jonathan Sheppard said...

I see there's an anti smoking Welsh girl - Will be interesting to see how Big Brother handle the smoking ban when it comes into force!

Damon said...

Yah boo! Caroline's blog is better than yours on this!

Reactionary Snob said...

It's a place of residence, Jonathan.

Like a prison or a palace, they'll be legally allowed to smoke although Big Brother will no doubt introduce a ban of some description...

The booby loves it. Shudder.


Chris Paul said...

Nikki was gorgeous? Are you sure? And the Respect stuff is, as we have discused before, wide of the mark. Apart from the Islamist bit you're thinking of GuFs groupies surely? And Carole has a e - perhaps several - and I suspect Emily is Tory Toast and good riddance.

Guido Faux said...

You could tell the quality birds without looking at the screen - they got more boos.

Theo Spark said...

Welcome to Totty Telly, the only way Channel 4 can rescue the ratings.