Eight for 2008

The other day I received a kindly email pointing out that I had been tagged by blogging friend, Iain Dale with a meme. Now, I have a policy on memes in that I don't do them, but it's Christmas, and this one happened to be about eight hopes for 2008, so here are mine.

1. The metrication of time. We have ten digits on our hand so why on earth did someone decide to measure time in such bizarre multiples? 2008 should be the year that finally the campaign for the metrication of time takes hold in the consciousness of the planet.
2. Gordon Brown is humiliated by his own party constantly. Never have I had such hatred and zero respect for a single politician. This is not a tribalist hatred, but a hatred of a man that I see as a calculating Machiavellian arsehead. A man who has lied and cheated constantly for the past ten years and now is trying to pretend that he wasn't really anything to do with any of the many cock-ups.
3. I can finally write my novel about a one-legged lesbian who desperately wants to adopt a gay orphan under the age of four. The tale will detail her ongoing struggle to find a child that is aware of their sexuality so young so they can be brought up in all the splendour of woman on woman love leading to a later love triangle in the child's teenage years. This will put the deep emotional content of the book on a par with DH Lawrence's Sons and Lovers.
   
4. Bernard Cribbins continues to defy everyone by still being alive and popping up on TV at Christmas to choruses in the living room of "I thought he was dead!".
5. The writers of Dr Who attempt to explain how the actress playing Martha Jones was turned into a half cyberwoman and killed at Torchwood in the last episode to feature Billy Piper and then was suddenly resurrected in the first episode of the next series without anyone saying "errr hang on a second, aren't you dead?"
6. Deep Purple (Mark II) line-up and Black Sabbath go on tour together and everyone starts arguing again about whether together they stomp Led Zeppelin into the ground of being true Gods of Rock. This leads to Kiss making another comeback in full make-up and lycra.
   
7. Christmas Day news in 2008 does not feature a newsreader telling us how many people have died in some explosion or natural disaster.
8. No one gets slapped; no one dies; no one is injured; no marriages end; and no one sleeps with their brothers' best friends dog or mother in the Eastenders Christmas episode. Everyone just sits down for dinner and is happy and then they all either fall asleep on the sofa or watch the Hollyoaks Christmas Special and complain about the dysfunctionality of Cheshire based soap operas.

As with the last meme about desktops I will not directly pass this on to people like a chain letter on pain of horrible disembowelment and impending death but instead say that if you want to do "Eight for 2008" feel free. Remember that if you don't that puppy you got may really just be for Christmas - this is especially the case if you live in Korea.