You can't beat a good Saturday morning with a New Years Honours List to browse over and make the steam come out of your ears. This is especially useful if you can bottle the steam up and use it to heat up the milk for your double espresso latte. Then you're able to get slightly more agitated due to the caffeine and the cycle can start again. But wait, I digress, I was getting angry and then I thought about coffee.
Today's New Years Honours list has, quite possibly, some of the most absurd people receiving honours. OK, the actors and TV stars are too be expected. I mean come on, you didn't really believe that Gordon Brown rejected celebrity culture did you? A man with the charm, wit and sophistication of a shriveled up orange peel reject the opportunity to make some fake friends? Never!
Just take a look at that list for a second though. First up we have Tom Kelly, Blair's former spokesman. The man who actively smeared a Government scientist who later went on to commit suicide?** A blatant pay-off in the hope that Kelly won't write or start briefing about the days Brown was in Number 11? Also receiving a gong is the CEO of the UK Debt Management Office at the Treasury. So what's that for then? Ensuring the country is hocked to the eyeballs or that the population is, or both?
The Deputy CEO of the Border and Immigration Agency, Ken Sutton, gets an honour along with two other colleagues. Yes that's right. Top men at an department in charge of immigration at a time when illegal immigrants have been employed as security guards at the Home Office have been given honours. I would try to satirise it but like so many things the Government does these days it is impossible because it is so absurd.
Not only that, the Director of the Child Benefit and Tax Credit Office at HMRC has received an honour. I know, I know, you're screaming with laughter at the sheer bloody insanity that a man in charge of an office that has been a complete failure in tax credits, whilst also losing the bank details of 25 million people is given a prize for doing a good job. Like I said, beyond satire.
No doubt over the next few days more details about some of the awards will emerge as bloggers and journalists pour over the list looking for possible "Cash for Honours" stories. The most amazing thing for me is that the judgement of Gordon Brown is so poor that he's put people on the list from departments that have been involved in massive scandals in the past few months.
When you put it against the decision to airbrush out the worst bits of the past few months on the Downing Street website you really do get a picture of a man that is totally flawed.
* Apologies to oranges everywhere for comparing their skin to the Prime Minister, it was uncalled for.
** Note that I am accepting the official verdict in the face of know actual evidence to the contrary. 9/11 Truthers beware. Do not start commenting you will be slapped.