Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The ideal Government job for a slacker like me

Often, people who are interested in politics also have ambitions in that direction too. Some, like the former MP Oona King have not been afraid to be honest and say they'd like to be Prime minister one day either.

Given this I've pondered on what job, if I could freely pick any, in government I would ever actually be willing to do, and I've finally settled on an answer.

If forced at gunpoint it would have to be the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, a post currently held by Mr Hilary Armstrong MP. Why you may wonder would I want that post?

Well, there was a time once when, although it was a sinecure, it did involve work. However now it's considered a role that requires no more than about a days work each week which, given my penchant for slacking, appeals to me.

But what really appeals most is the drinks and party budget. If last year is anything to go by, I'd be able to spend at least £649,000 on hospitality and entertainment!

Who wouldn't want a job like that? One day a week and half a million on booze and nibbles!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Damn, I wanted that job.

Curly said...

Still think I'd prefer that job as ODPM (and Tracy's back apparently!)

Anonymous said...

Err .. I fink that Hilary geezer's not a geezer but a bird. Simple mistake.

Croydonian said...

(Fellow) Sarf London Lad - seen her lantern jaw?

Anonymous said...

Oh no, you don't want to be Chancellor of the Duchy. Yes, the post per se has little to do (the Duchy is in effect a very efficient property company owned by HM with about 2 dozen people who all know what they're doing and like to be left to get on with it) but nowadays the job is combined with Minister for the Cabinet Office, which means you'd be in charge of all the paper clip requisition committees and arguments over civil service pay grades and whether some duff quango or other has missed its performance targets. Top job; v. busy.

The current deadbeat incumbent Hilary Armstrong is also Minister for Social Exclusion (I think they meant "Minister for Solving Social Exclusion", not promoting it, but you can never tell with this lot) which must require at least taking an interest in scruffs and chavs. Reliable sources suggest that Hilary Armstrong is female.

So, not the cushy berth you were thinking. My guess is you'd make an excellent Marker of the Swans - he's the chap who has to organise Swan Upping, the count of swans on the Thames once a year. Best of all, he's not allowed to actually mark any swans.

dizzy said...

I could do all that whilst drunk though. No one would notice would they?

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a dream job, has it ever been held by a woman?

Anonymous said...

Dizzy: Well, as we know, you can get away with an awful lot under this govmt but something tells me that a drunk Marker of the Swans, even though no actual marking of swans was involved, would incur the wrath of the animal rights lobby. You can let murderous psycopaths wander free, waste squillions of pounds on duff pleasure domes, and even invade reasonably sized countries, but any one who crossed the RSPB would be dead meat within the week and fed to the, er, swans.

Ellee: no idea, but I would not be surprised if there was a glass ceiling in place. Swan marking is a top job requiring calm decisiveness, cool efficiency and (presumably) an ability not to fall in the river. A girl might crack under the pressure or squeel if the swans flapped their wings. Couldn't have that, could we?