Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Time for Formula One regulations in warfare?

Please accept my apologies for doing a second post on Israel in two days, but look on the bright side, at least it provides somewhere for the batshit crazy types to slag each other off*. This said, it appears to me that the in the discussion about what happened on this boat, the debate has shifted slightly.

At the beginning, the reaction, inherently anti-Israel of course, was that the bastard vicious IDF had gone trigger-happy, shooting at very peaceful people who would rather hug a a butterfly and wear flowers in their hair than be violent.

Since then, footage was released showing that these peace loving hippies on the boat were in fact a little bit wild with metal bars, knives and other blunt instruments including rocks, boots etc.

At this point, the argument moved on to "well they only had rocks and sticks for God sake! The IDF had guns and should have defended themselves from a good kicking in a manner that didn't involve shooting". **

So, in the interest of fairness and equality in war, I think it's about time we all got together round a table globally at the UN and drew up a proper process for having a ruck, complete with Formula One motor racing style regulations so that when you're in a fight you know the other side only has the same numbers and weapons at their disposal.

Let's make some rules about however many you have on one side must be matched equally on the other at the start of the fight. Let's have a five day notice period for fights so that everyone can pass the word around so a big crowd gathers chanting "fight fight fight".

Let's match weapon for weapon too. Just think how good this could be for the British Army fighting in the desert? We could stipulate that there is to be no fight unless everyone else uses SA80s, it would be trigger-jamming-tastic!

Just think of the job creation too if we create a nice level killing field when it comes to weaponry. Did I say killing field? I meant playing field. We could have global trade in standardised weaponry. Hell, imagine if we could fool convince the entire world to use the SA80, we'd be laughing!

OK, OK, I'm kidding, but you see, such insanity is the logical end of those who seem to have shifted the argument about the IDF shooting when they're being beaten over the head with metal pipes in a 5 on 1 fight.

If you're going to complain that the other side has better weapons, then you either level the weaponry field available, numbers fighting etc; or... you accept that if you try to beat up a soldier with a metal pipe, and he just happens to be carrying an IMI Negev, he's going to doubletap you at the first opportunity.


* It's made funnier when they scream censorship when I go to bed and don;t post their comments for a few hours.
** Note that if they'd killed someone in a bare knuckle fist fight it would still have been evidence of brutal nastiness by them evil Israelis.

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