EXCLUSIVE: Labour to scrap ID cards in favour of RFID

In a move that will see Britain become the world leader in nanotechnology and the "cashless" society, the Labour party is secretly working on plans to introduce radical changes to the way citizens receive public services and spend their money.

Work is underway to replace the traditional National Insurance card - issued to everyone just prior to their 16th birthday - with an RFID chip implant under the skin in the hand. The radio frequency identification chip will provide everyone with access to public services such as health, prescription, welfare.

Proposals also include linking the identification technology up with the nationalised banks where everyone will be provided with a free banking facility. This will provide people with the ability to automatically pay for things by simply waving their hand across scanning equipment.

Additionally the system will allow for complete financial tracking facilities, and preliminary tested have successfully added global positioning (GPS) technology in to the chip which will allow for what civil servants have started to refer to as "full spectrum welfare" - a term inspired by the US Department of Defence's "full spectrum warfare". A senior source close to the Home Secretary said,

This technology will revolutionise the way we live. Not only will it secure all our identities but we plan for the chips to link up with the ignition systems of your cars, unlock your doors, the possibilities are endless! True, it does mean that someone just needs to cut your hand off to access your home, vehicle and all your money, but we should be concentrating on the positives for the many not the negatives that will only happen to the few.

It is understood that the national roll out will begin in schools within the next two years.

Note @ 12:00pm: Yes, this was a joke, but scarily plausible huh? Full spectrum welfare! :-)