UN issues guidelines on teaching masturbation to 5 year-olds?

Every now and then you have one of those moments where you just think "WTF?" and this morning is one of those since reading that the United Nations released a report in June titled "International Guidelines on Sexual Education" which notes that 5-8 year-olds across the world be taught that,

"Touching and rubbing one’s genitals is called masturbation” and that “girls and boys have private body parts that can feel pleasurable when touched by oneself."

As for 9-12 year-olds they should be taught,

"specific steps involved in obtaining and using condoms and contraception, including emergency contraception"

Now look, I'm not a prude OK, and yes, kids play around with each and experiment with sexual activity at a variety of ages. However, teaching a five year old how to have a wank? Isn't that just a little bit too early? Likewise, teaching a 9 year old how to get hold of condoms so they can get jiggy?

Whatever happened to letting a child be a child? And more importantly, by what authority does the United Nations presume to instruct parents and nation states upon what they should choose to teach their children?
Hat Tip: Renegade Parent
and Counting Cats