Police, Traffic Wardens and PCSOs will also be given powers to issue fixed penalty notices on the elderly who randomly stop whilst walking on a busy pavement or are generally too slow. Folding chairs will be provided to law enforecment officers so they can order the irritatingly slow to sit down and wait for someone to pick them up and get them off their roads. In a private memo, the Secretary of State for Transport, the Rt Hon Geoff Hoon MP, said
I'm sick to death of walking along Millbank and having to fall over my feet because some elderly urine smelling woman decided to stop for no apparent reason. Amputation may be a step too far but if we can just confine these people to their homes then it will solve so many problems on the pavements. At the end of the day they're old so they'll die soon anyway."The Lib Dems have responded angrily to the laws suggesting that it is a politically motivated attack on their elder statesmen and women such as Shirley Williams and Menzies Campbell. Their leader, Nick Clegg said,
Look, we know they're old, but remember that Menzies used to be a sprinter. All that running in earlier life should surely be allowed to be credited to his life now?Norman Tebbit and Magaret Thatcher were unavailable for comment as they couldn't get to the phone quick enough when the press called them.