Until I read a question from Bernard Jenkins MP this morning I had never heard of "topple testing". This is where you try and push a gravestone over with your hands and then attempt to do it with a special "topple tester" device. It would appear that such testing became commonplace back in 2004 when the Health and Safety Executive revealed that three people had died between 1999 and 2004 from headstones falling on them.
As you can imagine I am once again most definitely going to Hell for sniggering at the thought that someone got crushed to death by a gravestone whilst most likely visiting their dearly departed. Yes, yes I know it's cruel but the irony of getting splatted in a cemetry by a headstone is just too much for my warped and perverted sense of humour to cope with.
However, what I really want to know is how one goes about getting the job of "topple testing" and how it would be advertised. "Wanted. Committed individual, probably a goth, to walk around the cemetry trying to push over headstones. No experience necessary however cow tipping experience would be useful. Flexible working hours."