Monday, December 31, 2007

My heroes and zeros of 2007

I see that, as with last year, the Conservative Party has issued a list of heroes and zeros for 2007. Like last year there is a green theme as well. The list last time praised a Page Three girl for her green comments and riding bikes in order to keep you fit for sex.

Something tells me that a press officer somewhere in CCHQ thought that it was a tremendously edgy idea to basically give an award to a pair of knockers from Lewisham, this years list is less edgy but still silly.

However I am digressing which is easily done when thinking about boobs but I thought why not do you're own list of heroes and zeros for 2007. A list of epic proportions that is only slightly less facile? It will be fun won't it? Here goes, in no particular order.

Heroes
Tony Blair - A brilliant politician who just had the wrong politics. Was able to talk about anything to anyone and at least appear to be on their wave length even if he wasn't. Just look at Gordon Brown for your frame of reference if you find this one difficult to accept.
David Cameron - Really is the 'heir to Blair' for the reason given above about why Blair was so good. Whether the politics turn out to wrong remains to be seen.
Mathew D'ancona - Only UK political periodical editor that has 'got it' (so far) about how to make an old media blog succesful.
The Devil's Kitchen - For being consistently funny and showing that just because you go to Eton it does not follow that you are an upper class tosspot.
Alex Hilton - For understanding that blogging is only significant because of the technology that makes publishing quick and easier for the technically illiterate.
Mick Hume - Always on the money with his analysis of the social authoritarian state we currently live in.

Zeroes
Johann Hari - Irritating left wing columnist that's been accused of making stuff up about his visits to Iraq. Had Robert Fisk not existed, 'fisking' would be known as 'hariing'.
Tory Boy Tossers (TBTs) - Wears a badly fitting suits and thinks it is perfectly normal to talk about their trust fund because surely everyone has one. Will never know what real life is actually like. Violent crime statistic candidate if they visit the wrong pub one day.
Tim Ireland (blogger) - Mark Thomas wannabe without the brains or wit.
Party Political Automatons - Under 30s who have only ever worked in politics and have bugger all notion of what the real world is like. Choose to live in Hackney to experience how "raw" life is but do so in a gated community.
Pseudoscientists - People that talk about science unequivocally proving things. 2007 has seen an explosion in the politicisation of science and it is dangerous.
Harriet Harman - A bit like thrush which Canesten cream cannot get rid of.

16 comments:

Newmania said...

Damn I must have missed the cut by whisker :) I `m slightly confused by the Alex Hilton entry .He talks wall to wall bollocks and recently claimed that Conservatives were the moral equivalent of paedophiles .Seriously .

Seems a little cognitively challenged to me

David Bodden said...

Was it the same Page3 Keeley that had a sex video all over the internet shortly after? Anyway, I much preferred Anna and now Danni. Oh look, there she is today.

canvas said...

Yes, Dizzy, agree about the Zeroes.

I think Johann Hari is SO irritating. What a hack. I didn't realise Johann was a man for ages because of his 'press photo' - he has that 'Yvette Cooper - Ruth Kelly' look about him.

ToryBoy Tossers are also a vexation to the soul.

I think Barack Obama is a new entry on the Heroes list for 2007.
His speeches are so refreshing.

crackers said...

Ole Manic Ireland is a difficult one to fathom. He used to have an abbreviated cv on his website which was revelatory - Australia, he thought he was brainy until he went to a high achieving school andiscovered to his dismay that he was bottom quartile. Mommy's boy. Obviously mocked and bullied.

Took the cv down when bloggers started taking the piss. Weird chappie. Sad Sack.

anthonynorth said...

Science has always been politicised. It's just more noticeable today.

Unsworth said...

Eton.

Yes.

How do you feel about Fettes?

Machiavelli's Understudy said...

Completely with you on the TBTs. There could be an army of them and I still wouldn't want to let them out canvassing... No idea of the real world at all; think two pints is 'pushing it' for a night out and worst of all, have no concept of political ideology or philosophy- they're just the political class.

Agreed with Canvas on Hari- because the name was a bit odd, too, I always thought he was a bit of a butch bird...

paul ilc said...

"showing that just because you go to Eton it does not follow that you are an upper class tosspot."

If you have a chip on your shoulder, dear boy, keep it covered: they are even less attractive than tatoos.

dizzy said...

Are you taking the fucking piss? The point I was making was obviously that those that have chips on their shoulders about people educated at Eton are wrong. Only a complete fucktard would have failed to realise that so I shall assume you are just being ironic.

P.S. I have tattoos and I don't actively cover them up.

canvas said...

From the ABOUT ME page on Hari's site:

"Since he began work as a journalist, Johann has been attacked in print by the Daily Telegraph, John Pilger, Peter Oborne, Private Eye, the Socialist Worker, Cristina Odone, the Spectator, Andrew Neil, Mark Steyn, the British National Party, Medialens, al Muhajaroun and Richard Littlejohn. 'Prince' Turki Al-Faisal, the Saudi Ambassador to Britain, has accused Johann of "waging a private jihad against the House of Saud". (He's right). Johann has been called "a Stalinist" and "beneath contempt" by Noam Chomsky, 'Horrible Hari' by Niall Ferguson, "an uppity little queer" by Bruce Anderson, 'a drug addict' by George Galloway, "fat" by the Dalai Lama and "a cunt" by Busted."

Little Black Sambo said...

If Tony Blair is a hero give me a villain any day.

Anonymous said...

Is Johanna Hari a fella?

Ian said...

TONY BLAIR!?!?!?!?
Alex Hilton??? Did you see his two appalling Comment is Free articles towards the end of the year?

As for the others:
I disagree with quite a lot of Johann Hari's politics (he's bought the green alarmist madness hook line and sinker) but think he deserves better than he gets. When it comes to reading a column, I'd choose him over bloody Cohen and Kamm every time.

Tim Ireland: Colour me unsure. His videos are excellent. There are nowhere near enough Mark Thomas types. BUT some of his blogging can be incredibly childish and vindictive.

Why Mick Hume but no mention of Henry Porter?

dizzy said...

"For understanding that blogging is only significant because of the technology that makes publishing quick and easier for the technically illiterate."

His politics is bollocks. But he happens to be one of the only people I know who doesn't see blogging as this marvellous world saviour.

Oscar Miller said...

Politicisation of science is not talked about nearly enough. A very very dangerous trend. Scientists are always treated as if they're somehow 'above politics' by the MSM.

Shug Niggurath said...

Even after seeing Hari on TV I was not convinced it was a guy. Took me an awful long time to get on that bus.

I still await it coming out.