Friday, November 30, 2007

Labour advertise for Downing Street administrator

The closing date is today, but the Labour Party are advertising for an Administrator at the No.10 Political Office. The full job description outlines the following roles (with additional crib notes from yours truly).


1. Administer and coordinate the diary and correspondence of the Political Secretary - ensuring that all meetings with dodgy donors are not recored in case of Police investigation
2. Maintain accurate and up to date records of contacts with the political office - except where the accurate and up to date records might incriminate the boss.
3. Assisting with the organisation and logistics of Political Office events, receptions and other activities - other activities may include soliciting money from people that wish to remain anonymous as well as typing out letters of thanks to said donors.
4. Arranging meetings as necessary and responding to callers and contacts with the political office - telling Her Majesty's Press Corp to 'sod off', 'no comment', 'won't you please leave us alone', 'nothin' to do with us Guvnor' and 'that Harriet Harman's a bitch we hope she dies in her own bile.'
5. Coordinate between the political office, the PM’s constituency office and the Labour Party head office as required - making sure that there is always plausible denial that the boss didn't know about any criminal activity.
6. Assisting with the logistical and travel arrangements of the Political Secretary - arranging secure safe houses where staff and the boss can go to ground when the brown stuff (no pun intended) hits the proverbial fan.

And the one they missed!
7: Full Criminal Records Bureau checks will be carried out on all applicants as a lack of criminal record is not ideal for this role. Dodgy associates with money may however be sufficient for success.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You failed to highlight their final requirement. The fundamental conflict between getting the job done and keeping the boss out of jail.

"The post-holder will work directly with the Political Secretary and will at all times uphold the highest standards of integrity and conduct"

machiavelli said...

If Brown's economic policy doesn't change sharpish it'll be an Administrator with a capital "A"!

Anonymous said...

Another one they missed.
Ensure the PM doesn't go on air and proclaim to the whole world that criminal offences have been committed thus ensuring a Police Investigation.

Anonymous said...

I do hope the Labour Party will pay rent for the HMG space they will be using inside No 10. Should not the Labour party do its work in Walworth Road or where so ever they reside nowadays and the Government do its work in HMG office space? More abuse of the taxpayer - like paying Aliastair Campbells salary from the public purse not from labour party resources.

Glyn H