The closing date is today, but the Labour Party are advertising for an Administrator at the No.10 Political Office. The full job description outlines the following roles (with additional crib notes from yours truly).
1. Administer and coordinate the diary and correspondence of the Political Secretary - ensuring that all meetings with dodgy donors are not recored in case of Police investigation
2. Maintain accurate and up to date records of contacts with the political office - except where the accurate and up to date records might incriminate the boss.
3. Assisting with the organisation and logistics of Political Office events, receptions and other activities - other activities may include soliciting money from people that wish to remain anonymous as well as typing out letters of thanks to said donors.
4. Arranging meetings as necessary and responding to callers and contacts with the political office - telling Her Majesty's Press Corp to 'sod off', 'no comment', 'won't you please leave us alone', 'nothin' to do with us Guvnor' and 'that Harriet Harman's a bitch we hope she dies in her own bile.'
5. Coordinate between the political office, the PM’s constituency office and the Labour Party head office as required - making sure that there is always plausible denial that the boss didn't know about any criminal activity.
6. Assisting with the logistical and travel arrangements of the Political Secretary - arranging secure safe houses where staff and the boss can go to ground when the brown stuff (no pun intended) hits the proverbial fan.
And the one they missed!
7: Full Criminal Records Bureau checks will be carried out on all applicants as a lack of criminal record is not ideal for this role. Dodgy associates with money may however be sufficient for success.