Monday, March 12, 2007

Government offers tips for creating traffic jams

Brilliant, another new website initiative from the Government that said it was cutting back on websites a few months.

This time it's a website called "Act on CO2", which, as you've probably guessed, is full of useful tips on how you can stop yourself feeling guilty whilst the sun continues to get hotter. I thought I'd take the opportunity to provide my version of the tips.
  • Pump up to cut down - apparently under-inflated tyres will make you use more petrol. So pump them up. But not too much or you'll have a crash! Basically, check your tyre pressure, something that the Highway Code tells you to do already.
  • Less clutter in your car means less CO2 - empty your boot and make the car lighter! Don't remove the spare wheel though. Try to cut down on breathing whilst driving as well.
  • Driving at an appropriate speed reduces CO2 - Don't speed, and remember going 70mph uses 9% more fuel than going 60, and 15% more than going 50. Don't worry about the fact that doing 50mph on the motorway will annoy everyone around you. Do not worry about the tail backs you cause. Yes, it means more traffic queues spewing out more pollution in concentrated areas, but if you're in an area you hate anyway don't feel guilty about it - especially if it's France.
  • Less stopping and starting means less CO2 - All that stopping and starting and moving four metres in traffic jams is bad. Instead watch the traffic ahead and ride the clutch. You're clutch can be replaced, the planet cannot be. The Government accepts no responsibility for buggering your gearbox.
  • Over revving accelerates emissions - Don't be a boy racer and pointlessly rev the car whilst at a stand still. Try changing up a gear earlier as well. Yes, this might go wrong and you may bugger your gearbox, please previous point regarding responsibility in this matter.
  • Idling is wasting fuel - Stop wasting fuel in traffic jams. Turn the engine off. What do you mean you're stereo isn't rigged directly to your battery and requires the ignition to be on to listen too? The planet is more important than you're desire to listen to Kylie.
Do have a look at the rest of the site. I imagine it cost a small fortune to set up and will receive very little traffic. I bet they don't think twice about the power consumption of their servers though.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Driving a heavy lorry at 90mph into a large, fast moving, row of cars can dramatically reduce CO2 emmisions both immediately and well into the future!

James Higham said...

Nice comment above but the thrust of the post is right - the ludicrous nature of some of these 'think tank' products defies the imagination. so does the wastage of public money.

Anonymous said...

I drive a 1600 kg diesel MPV. I fill it with 60 kg of diesel fuel each fortnight.

I appreciate that if I fill the car with 7 x 80 kg adults, the car will require more fuel to cope with its 560 kg payload.

Removing 5 kg of clutter from the boot will have a negligible effect on my fuel consumption - if so, they would advise us all to only fill the tank half full and save carrying 30 kg of excess fuel.

I notice that nobody has dared suggest how much Carbon Dioxide could be saved by removing the sweet wrapper from the pockets of my car!