Ezekiel 23:19-21God was doing graphic sexual literature long before Alastair Campbell was.
(19) Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. (20) There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. (21) So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.
Thursday, June 03, 2010
God to Alastair Campbell "call yourself a porn writer?"
You have to love the way New International Version of the Bible makes it easier to understand.
What does Nick Clegg do?
I know that over the past few years I have bemoaned the fact that the Government spends far too much time building pointless websites that no one can be arsed to visit, so I caveat this post with the fact that I'm not asking for an all-signing all-dancing web presence, but Nick Clegg seems to have bugger all presence on any Government website, which leads me to the conclusion that he really is just a non-entity.
Yesterday, at Prime Ministers Question he had his first experience of not being able to ask any questions as the leader of the third party. He just sat behind Cameron looking like someone who had suddenly realised that power had actually come at the price of his silence during the great weekly Parliamentary battle; and it also seems that the Government's digital face is keeping him quiet too.
He barely gets a mention on the Downing Street website, doesn't have a profile or biography of any kind (unlike the rest of the Cabinet who have their own departments). He has no formal website that I can see (not even a handful of pages hanging off the Cabinet Office) detailing what exactly his role as "Deputy Prime Minister, Lord President of the Council (with special responsibility for political and constitutional reform)" is actually about.
Call me cynical if you must, but it doesn't half look like he's being kept on a leash to avoid the "Number Two" of the Government doing a number two on the pavement for the rest of the Cabinet to slip up on.
Yesterday, at Prime Ministers Question he had his first experience of not being able to ask any questions as the leader of the third party. He just sat behind Cameron looking like someone who had suddenly realised that power had actually come at the price of his silence during the great weekly Parliamentary battle; and it also seems that the Government's digital face is keeping him quiet too.
He barely gets a mention on the Downing Street website, doesn't have a profile or biography of any kind (unlike the rest of the Cabinet who have their own departments). He has no formal website that I can see (not even a handful of pages hanging off the Cabinet Office) detailing what exactly his role as "Deputy Prime Minister, Lord President of the Council (with special responsibility for political and constitutional reform)" is actually about.
Call me cynical if you must, but it doesn't half look like he's being kept on a leash to avoid the "Number Two" of the Government doing a number two on the pavement for the rest of the Cabinet to slip up on.
The Impotent Government?
Yesterday in Parliament, Labour leadership hopeful and standard bearer of the hardcore socialist-wing of the PLP, John McDonnell posed a question to the Department of Transport about cuts.He was clearly hoping for an answer that would provide a line of attack we can expect across the board over the next next few years having asked "what assessment has been made of the impact of planned reductions in his Department's funding of rail in 2010-11."
The response however was, I must admit, rather worrying, as it seems to imply that the Government, at least in some cases, may not actually have the power to cut some budgets (or at least not cut them until they scrap certain quangos). Philip Hammond, Transport Secretary said (emphasis mine),
My Department has agreed to contribute a total of £683 million to the £6 billion of in-year budget reductions sought in the emergency budget.So, not only do we currently have a £538 million shortfall still to be found, but it also seems that the Office of Rail Regulation has to provide consent for budget cuts at Network Rail.
As part of this Network Rail has indicated that, subject to the consent of the Office of Rail Regulation, it will reduce its requirement for Government funding by £100 million.
I am clear that similar efficiencies can be driven from the large organisations to which the Department for Transport makes grants, such at Network Rail, as can be found by the Department.
Ted Heath famously asked "Who Governs Britain?" in relation to industrial relations and the unions. Looks like the question may still be relevant 35 years on, the only difference is that it's not about crazy trade unions but rather Government created quangos.
Talk about being hoist by your own petard, huh?
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Editorial Juxtaposition of the Day
And the award goes too.....
Click Image for Larger Version
Submitted by an eagle-eyed reader
Click Image for Larger VersionSubmitted by an eagle-eyed reader
Time for Formula One regulations in warfare?
Please accept my apologies for doing a second post on Israel in two days, but look on the bright side, at least it provides somewhere for the batshit crazy types to slag each other off*. This said, it appears to me that the in the discussion about what happened on this boat, the debate has shifted slightly.
At the beginning, the reaction, inherently anti-Israel of course, was that the bastard vicious IDF had gone trigger-happy, shooting at very peaceful people who would rather hug a a butterfly and wear flowers in their hair than be violent.
Since then, footage was released showing that these peace loving hippies on the boat were in fact a little bit wild with metal bars, knives and other blunt instruments including rocks, boots etc.
At this point, the argument moved on to "well they only had rocks and sticks for God sake! The IDF had guns and should have defended themselves from a good kicking in a manner that didn't involve shooting". **
So, in the interest of fairness and equality in war, I think it's about time we all got together round a table globally at the UN and drew up a proper process for having a ruck, complete with Formula One motor racing style regulations so that when you're in a fight you know the other side only has the same numbers and weapons at their disposal.
Let's make some rules about however many you have on one side must be matched equally on the other at the start of the fight. Let's have a five day notice period for fights so that everyone can pass the word around so a big crowd gathers chanting "fight fight fight".
Let's match weapon for weapon too. Just think how good this could be for the British Army fighting in the desert? We could stipulate that there is to be no fight unless everyone else uses SA80s, it would be trigger-jamming-tastic!
Just think of the job creation too if we create a nice level killing field when it comes to weaponry. Did I say killing field? I meant playing field. We could have global trade in standardised weaponry. Hell, imagine if we couldfool convince the entire world to use the SA80, we'd be laughing!
OK, OK, I'm kidding, but you see, such insanity is the logical end of those who seem to have shifted the argument about the IDF shooting when they're being beaten over the head with metal pipes in a 5 on 1 fight.
If you're going to complain that the other side has better weapons, then you either level the weaponry field available, numbers fighting etc; or... you accept that if you try to beat up a soldier with a metal pipe, and he just happens to be carrying an IMI Negev, he's going to doubletap you at the first opportunity.
Simples!
* It's made funnier when they scream censorship when I go to bed and don;t post their comments for a few hours.
** Note that if they'd killed someone in a bare knuckle fist fight it would still have been evidence of brutal nastiness by them evil Israelis.
At the beginning, the reaction, inherently anti-Israel of course, was that the bastard vicious IDF had gone trigger-happy, shooting at very peaceful people who would rather hug a a butterfly and wear flowers in their hair than be violent.
Since then, footage was released showing that these peace loving hippies on the boat were in fact a little bit wild with metal bars, knives and other blunt instruments including rocks, boots etc.
At this point, the argument moved on to "well they only had rocks and sticks for God sake! The IDF had guns and should have defended themselves from a good kicking in a manner that didn't involve shooting". **
So, in the interest of fairness and equality in war, I think it's about time we all got together round a table globally at the UN and drew up a proper process for having a ruck, complete with Formula One motor racing style regulations so that when you're in a fight you know the other side only has the same numbers and weapons at their disposal.
Let's make some rules about however many you have on one side must be matched equally on the other at the start of the fight. Let's have a five day notice period for fights so that everyone can pass the word around so a big crowd gathers chanting "fight fight fight".
Let's match weapon for weapon too. Just think how good this could be for the British Army fighting in the desert? We could stipulate that there is to be no fight unless everyone else uses SA80s, it would be trigger-jamming-tastic!
Just think of the job creation too if we create a nice level killing field when it comes to weaponry. Did I say killing field? I meant playing field. We could have global trade in standardised weaponry. Hell, imagine if we could
OK, OK, I'm kidding, but you see, such insanity is the logical end of those who seem to have shifted the argument about the IDF shooting when they're being beaten over the head with metal pipes in a 5 on 1 fight.
If you're going to complain that the other side has better weapons, then you either level the weaponry field available, numbers fighting etc; or... you accept that if you try to beat up a soldier with a metal pipe, and he just happens to be carrying an IMI Negev, he's going to doubletap you at the first opportunity.
Simples!
* It's made funnier when they scream censorship when I go to bed and don;t post their comments for a few hours.
** Note that if they'd killed someone in a bare knuckle fist fight it would still have been evidence of brutal nastiness by them evil Israelis.
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
New Hungarian Government says OMG!
Seems it's not just New Labour that have created pointless domain names and websites. The new Hungarian has made an announcement about it.
Truly an OMG!
Truly an OMG!
Electronic boarding card issues rear their head again?
There's an interesting story in this morning, Daily Mail regarding a rather unfortunate "e-boarding card" in a picture on the front cover of an internal BA magazine.
It's interesting because it raises a rather reminiscent problem that was highlighted some time ago about electronic boarding cards. Back in 2006, I blogged about a Brit in the US who had found a flaw in Northwest Airline's e-boarding card system.
A PhD security student who exposed how easy it was to bypass airline security has had part of his website taken down by the FBI.
He was arrested and questioned by the FBI after he highlighted just how easy it was to fake a boarding card and thus get yourself through airport security and "air side" in an airport.
The idea of a boarding pass on a phone sounds great, but there are genuine security concerns about a system that is open to exploitation when it comes to accessing secure areas.
Most Important (and funny) Bit
Why is the seat number the same on the two year old fake boarding card as the one on the magazine advert? And the date, and the boarding gate. Can anyone say photoshop? Has the Mail been had perchance by a stolen image of a fake NW Airlines boarding card being used in a BA sponsored advert. The frequent flyer reference is even prefixed with NW.... hmmmmmm.
You've got to laugh I guess
Update: Incidentally, I spotted this news stories on a Tweet by Tim Ireland who was banging on about how the general idea of the boarding card was an "absurd fantasy". Of course, it's not a fantasy at all and is well documented across the Internet and in the press after I highlighted it.
It's interesting because it raises a rather reminiscent problem that was highlighted some time ago about electronic boarding cards. Back in 2006, I blogged about a Brit in the US who had found a flaw in Northwest Airline's e-boarding card system.
A PhD security student who exposed how easy it was to bypass airline security has had part of his website taken down by the FBI.He was arrested and questioned by the FBI after he highlighted just how easy it was to fake a boarding card and thus get yourself through airport security and "air side" in an airport.
The idea of a boarding pass on a phone sounds great, but there are genuine security concerns about a system that is open to exploitation when it comes to accessing secure areas.
Most Important (and funny) Bit
Why is the seat number the same on the two year old fake boarding card as the one on the magazine advert? And the date, and the boarding gate. Can anyone say photoshop? Has the Mail been had perchance by a stolen image of a fake NW Airlines boarding card being used in a BA sponsored advert. The frequent flyer reference is even prefixed with NW.... hmmmmmm.
You've got to laugh I guess
Update: Incidentally, I spotted this news stories on a Tweet by Tim Ireland who was banging on about how the general idea of the boarding card was an "absurd fantasy". Of course, it's not a fantasy at all and is well documented across the Internet and in the press after I highlighted it.
Crazies attack soldiers, get shot, complain of brutality
Another thing that happened over the weekend it seems is that Israel is being chastised because it boarded a convoy of aid ships travelling from Cyprus that it had repeatedly warned could not come into their waters and dock. During the boarding it seems that most of the ships were stopped peacefully, accept for one, the Mavi Marmara, where the Israeli Defence Force started shooting and killed a few people.
Now, you know how this one works. The IDF say they were defending themselves, the people on the boat, along with Islamist supporters, and pro-Palestinian sympathisers say that they were in fact being peaceful and hugging the IDF who went batshit crazy with their guns for fun, because that is what evil Jews do.
So, here's some footage of the IDF boarding the Mavi Marmara for people to decide for themselves. I particularly like the bit where they throw a soldier overboard and get a big pipe and beat one of them with it.
And they wonder why they got shot at?
Hat Tip: Mike Rouse for video.
Now, you know how this one works. The IDF say they were defending themselves, the people on the boat, along with Islamist supporters, and pro-Palestinian sympathisers say that they were in fact being peaceful and hugging the IDF who went batshit crazy with their guns for fun, because that is what evil Jews do.
So, here's some footage of the IDF boarding the Mavi Marmara for people to decide for themselves. I particularly like the bit where they throw a soldier overboard and get a big pipe and beat one of them with it.
And they wonder why they got shot at?
Hat Tip: Mike Rouse for video.
Green Book changes and BOGOF
Cor blimey Guvnor! What a weekend, and I'm not talking about the (non-political) weather! Should anyone be wondering why I have not posted since Friday, especially given the Coalition's first major crisis leading to a resignation, it's because I was enjoying the real world where politics is secondary and thought I'd wait until now before providing my jaded and irreverent view, so here goes.
What struck me as most amusing when I first read David Laws statement was the bit where he referred to the rules defining a partner as "one of a couple ... who although not married to each-other or civil partners are living together and treat each-other as spouses", and then went on to say,
I'm not, of course, defending him as such, but rather find myself pondering whether the rulebook may be in need of some "real world" updating to cover such things as "people you shag regularly but have their own room in the same flat thus providing extra choice on where to engage in unadulterated debauchery and sexual activity".
Actually, whilst we're on the subject, shouldn't there perhaps be a section, perhaps with a little table too, where it defines which sexual acts one engages in a specific number of times thereby defining whether that person is a partner or just a bit of rough?
You know, so, fellatio or cunnilingus* just the once doesn't count, but if you do it five times then that's it, you're in a relationship and the Green Book kicks in? We've got enough CCTV around these days, maybe we should put it in the bedrooms of MPs second homes? If they've got nothing to hide they've got nothing to fear, right? Goose, gander etcetera.
Let's hope the Lib Dem MP for Colchester Bob Russell doesn't have a home in Fingeringhoe though, otherwise it may cause confusion.
Anyhow, after that digression into crassness, I see what followed the resignation was the appointment of Danny Alexander to the post, who was then promptly splashed across the Telegraph front page because he didn't pay Capital Gains Tax on a house he sold when he wasn't due to pay Capital Gains Tax on it anyway - the tax rules were described by the papers as "legal loophole" natch!
Worth noting that this doesn't mean Danny Alexander hasn't been dodgy with other things, just that on this CGT thing, nothing was avoided because nothing was due.
I fully expect in the coming weeks and months we'll also hear from the Telegraph how some money-grabbing MP managed to steal a biro from Tesco without paying for it by spending taxpayers money on a "buy one get one free" offer. Off with his head, bastard, [insert other insults here]. Incidentally, at no point must we mention the tax status of the Telegraph proprietors.
There we go then, I've said my bit, I'm so glad I waited until after the long weekend to say it.
* Am so proud of myself for writing a post that mentions fellatio and cunnilingus during such a serious topic as a Cabinet Minister's resignation. Thank you David Laws, I salute you!
What struck me as most amusing when I first read David Laws statement was the bit where he referred to the rules defining a partner as "one of a couple ... who although not married to each-other or civil partners are living together and treat each-other as spouses", and then went on to say,
"Although we were living together we did not treat each other as spouses - for example we do not share bank accounts and indeed have separate social lives."Now, I please beg forgiveness for crudity and crassness, but to me that sounds awfully like "flatmates with extras" or what might commonly be called a "fuck buddy".
I'm not, of course, defending him as such, but rather find myself pondering whether the rulebook may be in need of some "real world" updating to cover such things as "people you shag regularly but have their own room in the same flat thus providing extra choice on where to engage in unadulterated debauchery and sexual activity".
Actually, whilst we're on the subject, shouldn't there perhaps be a section, perhaps with a little table too, where it defines which sexual acts one engages in a specific number of times thereby defining whether that person is a partner or just a bit of rough?
You know, so, fellatio or cunnilingus* just the once doesn't count, but if you do it five times then that's it, you're in a relationship and the Green Book kicks in? We've got enough CCTV around these days, maybe we should put it in the bedrooms of MPs second homes? If they've got nothing to hide they've got nothing to fear, right? Goose, gander etcetera.
Let's hope the Lib Dem MP for Colchester Bob Russell doesn't have a home in Fingeringhoe though, otherwise it may cause confusion.
Anyhow, after that digression into crassness, I see what followed the resignation was the appointment of Danny Alexander to the post, who was then promptly splashed across the Telegraph front page because he didn't pay Capital Gains Tax on a house he sold when he wasn't due to pay Capital Gains Tax on it anyway - the tax rules were described by the papers as "legal loophole" natch!
Worth noting that this doesn't mean Danny Alexander hasn't been dodgy with other things, just that on this CGT thing, nothing was avoided because nothing was due.
I fully expect in the coming weeks and months we'll also hear from the Telegraph how some money-grabbing MP managed to steal a biro from Tesco without paying for it by spending taxpayers money on a "buy one get one free" offer. Off with his head, bastard, [insert other insults here]. Incidentally, at no point must we mention the tax status of the Telegraph proprietors.
There we go then, I've said my bit, I'm so glad I waited until after the long weekend to say it.
* Am so proud of myself for writing a post that mentions fellatio and cunnilingus during such a serious topic as a Cabinet Minister's resignation. Thank you David Laws, I salute you!
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